It's been a long summer. Now that summer's over and I have to go back to school, I thought that i should make some changes from my life style. First of all, I got a new coputer and I've decided to start putting one dollar bills in my wallet and never spending them ever again. During the summer, I slept on the couch in my basement, so I could watch Jay Leno and Conan O'brien, something that I couldn't do in my regular room, seeing that there's no cable t.v in my room. Now that I need to get up early every morning, I've decided that I will start sleeping in my regular room. This is a big step for me, because my room is very very messy and I am very neat. During the summer, my room was somewhere that would put things that i dont need, so the entire room is covered with a bunch of stuff.


The first night of my life in the mess, i wasn't sure what I was about encounter. Despite my confuision, I crawled into my bed and curled up into a ball, so that no items touched me while I was sleeping, because I gett very uncomfortable when I'm sleeping and something touching me, because I'm sure not what is touching me, so it keeps me up all night. I began staring at the ceiling and was very disturbed when I saw something that looked weirdly sticky dripping on to my bed. I quickly dodged the unidentified liquid and found myself in a very odd position. I tried to get out of the state that I was in but was unable to do so, due to the fact that there three large objects and the weird ceiling substance was surronding my perimeter. I got over my problem and tried to sleep, but couldn't, because my position was quite uncomfortable for me and I was mad. In fact, I was so full of rage that I threw one of the objects of my bed and the triangular shaped picture frame broke into peice and hit me in the eye, so I got mad again and threw another one of the object surronding me, witch was a pair big sunglasses that made me giggle whenever I wore them, because they made me look like Elton John. So, I looked at my bed and realized that there was perfect room for me to Go ahead with my normal sleeping position.


I woke up the next morning very confused. I thought that I had went to sleep in a great position yet, My neck had a tremendous pain throbing from underneath the skin. It was whiplash. I cheched underneath my pillow and there lyed the most dreadful thing I had ever seen. The Guiness Book of World Records 2003. It must have been lying there the whole night. Or there was a possibility that someone put it there while I was sleeping. I reveiwed the tapes and couldn't see anything out of the ordinary, but then I realized that there were no tapes for me to wacth to see if I was a victum of attempted murder or whiplash at the occasion. there was no proof for me to know of the tragity, but I knew that I had to prepare for combat, so I could be ready to attack when the time comes.


It was hard for me to find a place where I could be trained in the art of greatness. I knew that the crook that I was dealing with was from Utah, because the Book that he put under my pillow was from 2003 and every one knows that u tah is the place that everything from 3 years ago goes. So I thought of somethings that would probably help me fight in the way that my enemy is a customed to, just to be polite. All things led to one place. Covert Operations. I was going to train to become a Covert Ops agent to kick some Utah ass.

I had a shower and ate break fast, then shaved and for those of you who are asking, I do shave, everyday, twice a day actually. Then I set foot on a quest to the Covert Ops base in Utah. It took a while. By the time I got there, I had a full beard. So, I was walking for about two hours. I walked to the main office and told my promblems to the leitentant. The man was quite a beast and he scared me whenever he opened his mouth. With teeth like that, you never know when he might turned around and chew off your head. But even though his mouth was huge, his broad shoulders drew me away from the gianormous growth on his neck that he called a head. Or was it his un necasarily tight t-shirt hugging his freakishly large ribs that grew out from his abs as if his torsoe were modeled when the artist was holding an ice cream cone and got an idea. But the most interesting part about my new trainer was his personality. A chip on shoulder that would probably be able to hold a bowling ball. a voice that yells loud enough to send an ear on a one way flight to death island off the coast of Figi.

Despite his personality, he understood my problem and he knew what he needed to do. He called in the genral, a clone of himself. Not an actual clone, I'm just trying to describe the man by saying hes very muchlike the other guy.

My new friend told me that I was going to have to go through extensive training for about 3 days to officailly become a Covert Ops agent. I understood what he was saying. He showed me to the tent where I would be staying for the next three days. I six room mates in this tent. I wanted to call them rommies, but they told me that that's not the way they talk in Utah. Most of my new aquintances were all the same, big men who aren't talented enough to be in Kenny Chesney's band. But there was one man who stood out from all the Larry the Cable Guy look-a-likes. I never learned his name, but I knew if I did, I would think that its a good name. I talked to the mysterious figure. He told me lots of things. Some things, I didn't want to know and somethings that i was curious about, like why he didn't tell me his name. Apparently, I come off as the kind of guy who blogs about everyone he meets. Where would he get that idea? Ha also told me that he was a part cat, actually kitten and he only had one life left, whitch suprised me when I found out that cats have 9 lives. Apparently, he died lots of times. He told me that his first death happened when someone threw a wooden bucket at him, then, five minutes later he tripped and fell onto a cinder block. Then, he got hit by a pick up truck as it was backing out of a pizza parlour. Then, he got shot by a hillbilly, because he was dating his daughter. Then, he interupted Russel crowe while he was on the phone. Then, he became emo and and killed himself. Then, he stubbed his toe really really hard. Then, he took a video camera to an Guns n' Roses concert. Then, he exploded and lost 2 lives. I was very suprised at what he had just told me, so I was nervous about saying something stupid. I lifted up my courage and said, "I'll make sure that I don't decide to become a mask murderer and put you on the top of my list."


The man raised an eyebrow and smirked a bit. As I lay in my bunk that night, I thought about the looks that the man gave me. I reviewed the tapes and saw that every time the man talked to me, he held a Guiness Book of World Records. Suddenly, I knew that the mysterios man was my enemy. He was the one who gave me whip lash. I leaned over to him and said, "This means war jerk."


The next morning at training, I pointed the suspicious man and got into my specailized Covert Ops car. This drill was a drill where I have to drive someone of the road while my opponent is trying to avoid driving of the road. My opponent in this drill was the suspicious man. I knew that this was my chance to fix my problems. I was pumped and knew what I had to do when I saw the general swing the flag and saw the suspicious mans car zoomed past me. I put the petal to the metal and quickly caught up with the other car. I saw the deep look of fear in the suspicious man's face. At first I though it was because of me, but then I saw the spider on his wind sheild. I quickly turned the steering wheel and rammed the suspicious man's car off the road and the spider flew on to my windsheild. Then, I crashed into a ditch and started screaming like a girl.


I got out of my car and saw the suspiciousman being pulled away on a stretcher. He looked and my eyes and I mouthed the words, "Suck on that mofo."


Then the guy pasted out as I yelled at the top of my lungs, "Cat man don't!"


Then the guy lost his last life. My mission was done. I got revenge on my enemy. At first I thought I could go home, but then I realized that I still have to do the Covert ops training. So, I completed my training and left home the same way I got there, only I was wearing a white tuxedo, with a brief and I was now a Covert Operations agent.